So I started a new WIP about…a month ago now? Maybe a bit less? The idea started in June when I caught a train and saw two guide dogs sitting next to each other. One thing led to another and before I knew it I was writing this story from the dual POV of two disabled teens: William, who is blind, and Ashley, who is deaf. It’s kind of a romance-y type thing and centres around the perception of disabilities. I’m very much enjoying writing it.
And because I am impulsive, I skipped ahead a bit, to a part I really wanted to write. Here is that bit (I hope I won’t regret this later):
I can’t see her, but I can feel her in front of me. Like a magnet, drawing me closer. I’m crying by now – I didn’t even know that I still could cry. ‘Don’t you fucking get it, Ashley? You are valuable – to me, and George, and Pam, and a million other people that don’t even know it yet, because you haven’t even met them. So don’t you dare say that nobody likes you, because you know what?
‘You know what?’ I say, and I grab her hands, and I continue to cry. ‘Because I love you, Ashley, and you will never get to hear me say it.’
I drop her hands and face away, towards the stupid pond. ‘She will never get to hear me say it!’ I scream.
I cling to her hands again. They’re warm, and beautiful, just from the touch. ‘Because Ashley, you are a terrible singer, and you are beautiful even though I’ve never seen you, and you play the most amazing piano piece I have ever heard, and because you are so much better at this than I am. You are so much better at being disabled.’
But she can’t hear it, will never hear these words. Something catches in my chest, in my throat, in my heart, and now I’m sobbing, and she is too.
Once upon a time, I could only hear her when she laughed.
Now I can only hear her when she cries.
We collapse into each other, falling to the ground, my arms cradling her. And as we sit there, I repeat the words to her a million million times: I love you, I love you, I love you…
Who knows if I do or not? All I know is that I have never wanted to love a person more.
I have never wanted to be loved by a person more.
Hope you enjoyed! I probably won’t post any more of the first draft, since most of it sucked. But maybe if I go any further with it, I’ll post some more. I haven’t thought of a title yet. I’ve chucked around a few, like ANYTHING BUT SENSELESS, BLIND SPOT and THE DEAF LEADING THE BLIND. But none of them stand out to me. I’ll keep thinking.
In the meantime, happy writing/reading/whatever it is you do!