There are two types of people: those who can’t stand it when people use “your” instead of “you’re,” and those who commit the crimes.
Fine, there are also people in between, but you’re ruining my point.
I’m one of the angry-when-people-use-grammar-wrong people. Like this:
Here are the top ten most common mistakes I see people making:
Effect is a noun.
Affect is a verb.
Think of it as “the effect of global warming” or “I affect global warming” (because, you know, I’m so hot).
Oh god, who told me I should write this post?
It’s is a contraction of “it is.” If you’re talking about the rock’s feelings, you’re talking about its feelings, not it’s feelings.
Same with who’s/whose. If you mean “who is,” use “who’s,” otherwise it’s whose.
Examples: who’s my favourite Disney Princess?
Duh, she reads books.
More contractions – yay! This is THE MOST COMMON mistake I see. And it ANNOYS ME.
You’re = you are
Your = something that belongs to you
For example, you’re looking fantastic today with that beautiful face of yours.
I mean, this is completely the fault of the English language.
Yes, blogglings. The English language IS stupid. But basically:
There = the place where the leprechaun gold is, right at the end of the rainbow.
Their = something that belongs to them
They’re = they are
5) A lot/alot
There is no such thing as alot. Except this one:
If you’re ever feeling stressed because someone uses “alot,” just think of a big cuddly animal.
Were = either something before the word “wolf,” or the plural past tense of “was.” For example, my friends and I were given detention for wearing socks that weren’t white yesterday (full disclosure: I had one pink, one white, and hers were both neon green. Oops).
We’re = we are
Where = when you have no idea where Mum put the chocolate, and you’re like, “WHERE?” And it turns out that you have no chocolate so you cry yourself to sleep.
This is also a reeeeeeally common one. Here’s a quick hint:
Then = a point in time. As in, yesterday? I got detention then.
Than = a comparison. As in, my Disney GIFs are better than yours.
Didn’t even have to THINK about that example…
You LOSE something, you don’t loose something. Unless you’re loosing a bunch of dragons from captivity, in which case carry on.
These crimes against grammar are committed by both my best friend and my dearly beloved father.
(I just had to use this gif again. It’s marvellous. May even be the gif of the week!)
Brought = past tense of BRING.
Bought = purchased.
I brought a book to school today because…well, because. Because books.
I bought a book at Dymocks WAY TOO LONG AGO AND I WANT MORE. *dissolves into tears*
10. Would of/could of/should of
None of these are right. It’s would have or could have or should have.
And that’s it for my grammar master class, everyone!
What crimes against grammar do you commit? Did I commit any in this post (probably)?