Book Blurbs From Titles – Part Two!

So remember that time I made up book blurbs based entirely on the titles? Yeah, I’m doing it again because I had so much fun with them!!

You can see that post here.

 

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

the hunger games

To them, it’s not anorexia. To them, it’s the Hunger Games. How long can they last without eating? How long can they last without people noticing? How long until they’re not hungry anymore?

How long until they realise this isn’t a game at all?

This is the story of two siblings. Two distinct stories. But they’re both trying to cope in the same deadly way.

 

 

 

 

North of Beautiful by Justina Chen Headley

north of beautiful

 

Justina lives in Hideous Dideous, which is south of Utterly Repulsive Get Away From Me, and north of Beautiful. Beautiful holds everything Justina wants – beautiful people, clothes, houses, cars, landscapes. Justina wants out. So she gathers some loyal friends and they begin what is to be the most eventful journey of their lives.

Attacks by the Beauty Queens. Unlikely allies, the Ugly Onion-Breaths. And they discover that Beautiful may not be as amazing as everyone thinks.

 

 

 

The Weight of Water by Sarah Crossan

the weight of water

 

Sarah is a mermaid of the deep waters, where vision is unnecessary and everything is veiled in shadows. The weight of water is crushing her, and the allure of the shallows calls her.

And once she reaches the shallows, she learns about the Otherworld, the world above the water. But Sarah’s never left the water. All she knows is its pressure.

In a retelling ofย The Little Mermaid, this story captures Sarah’s journey as she ventures to the Otherworld. Gravity might as well not exist for how weightless she feels here, in her element.

 

 

 

The Book of Broken Hearts by Sarah Ockler

the book of broken hearts

Ocky is a Heart-Breaker. Employed by the Mirror Queen, she is contracted to travel over the land of Ventricle and remove the things that make people most happy. It might mean stealing candy from a baby. It might mean arranging an “accident” for a noblewoman’s son.

One day it means killing the Princess, the Mirror Queen’s daughter. Ocky’s best friend.

So Ocky travels with the Princess to the Dwarf Lands, where she has a change in role. Now she’s a Heart-Mender. But the Book of Broken Hearts is long, and Ocky’s time is short. Soon, the Mirror Queen will expect her back. And she’ll expect the Princess’s silent heart.

Where the Stars Still Shine by Trish Doller

where the stars still shine

In the world of the New Order, there are no stars. There is no singing. There is no dancing. Religion. Painting. There are only the Skyscrapers, hundreds of storeys tall, capable of sustaining their citizens with genetically modified food.

Trish lives in the top level of one of these Skyscrapers, along with her family – mother, father, brother, since birth rates are strictly controlled by the Officials.

But Trish has heard rumours. She’s heard rumours of another world. The Old World. There is music. There is dancing. There are stories and painting.

It’s the land where the stars still shine. And Trish will do anything to find it.

 

 

The Rapunzel Dilemma by Jennifer Kloester

the rapunzel dilemma

Rapunzel has a serious dilemma.

It may be the most serious dilemma she has ever faced.

That’s right. Rapunzel has split ends. You’d think this wouldn’t come as a surprise given how long she’s been cultivating her luscious locks.

Can Rapunzel overcome her insecurities and let Hairdresser Harriet take the scissors to her terrific tresses? Or will she end up with the worst split ends the world has ever seen? Only time will tell…

 

 

Paper Towns by John Green

paper towns

When fairies take gap years, they visit much more exciting places. Greta is half-human, but now she wants to get in touch with her fairy heritage. Along with sarcastic unicorn companion Mildred, Greta begins her journey.

She visits the Star Pavilions.

The Flying Cities.

The mysterious Endless Landscape.

The Vertices of Tomorrow.

The only places left to visit are the Paper Towns, where her parents died. She’s saving those until last.

 

So what do you think? Would you read any of these? I hope you had as much fun reading the blurbs as I did writing them, at least! ๐Ÿ™‚

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38 thoughts on “Book Blurbs From Titles – Part Two!

  1. I would seriously read quite a few of these! Weight of Water and Where the Stars Still Shine sound especially good (: I’m impressed with the creativity!

  2. OH MY GOSH THE ONE FOR THE RAPUNZEL DILEMMA!!! I busted out laughing out loud at that one. OHhh nefarious Hairdresser Harriet. ๐Ÿ˜‰ You’re hilarious and these are pure gold. JUST SAYIN’. I also want to read that version of Paper Towns.

  3. I’ve actually been stalking your blog for a long time, but I never followed or commented… Hehe, anyway this is awesome! I’ve never read some of these, including ‘The Book of Broken Hearts’ but if it really was as awesome as the blurb you wrote judging by the title, than that would be one cool book. ๐Ÿ˜€ And the Rupunzel one! I love it! ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. Oh my goodness *bursts into laughter* – that one for ‘The Rapunzel Dilemma’ is PERFECT! I love how you’ve pulled off this feature Emily – it’s so much fun to read about how the original titles can be interpreted so differently. It would be fun to do a random survey people who’ve never seen the book before to guess what it’s about based on some of your own inventions ๐Ÿ™‚

    • You know, I COULD make it a feature…maybe like every two weeks or something. That would be fun! I do love making these up. Oh, and great idea about the survey! Even I had trouble remembering what some of these are actually about haha ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Oh my gosh the Rapunzel one had me laughing out loud. xD I’ve never thought about it before, but Rapunzel must have lots of split ends. I’d totally read your version of The Weight of Water and Paper Towns. Haha, I love these posts! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. These are awesome, and haha to the Rapunzel Dilemma. That would make a really light hearted and funny book. And oh gosh, The Hunger Games sound really intense. I think the ones that I would want to read most would be The Book of Broken Hearts (because it sounds like a Snow White retelling!) and Paper Towns. Once again, I love this post! It should totally become a regular feature.

    • It would! I’d love a humorous fairytale retelling ๐Ÿ˜€ OH MY GOSH you realised that The Book of Broken Hearts would be a Snow White retelling, yay!!! I didn’t think anyone would ๐Ÿ˜€

      I’m actually thinking about making it a bi-weekly feature ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Split ends? Oh bloody hell, these kill me. You’re so incredibly funny and imaginative Em.
    Now, where can I get myself a sarcastic unicorn? *looks around*

    Brilliant post โค I LOVE these!

  8. #dead
    YOU KILLED ME EMILY.

    I have to say, being attacked by ugly onion breath would be enough to convince anyone that Beautiful isn’t worth it ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I’d totally read that version of The Book of Broken Hearts ๐Ÿ˜€ Also, you got Ocky from Ockler didn’t you? ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜› *pats*

    My fav was totally the Rapunzel one though, I mean the girl FINALLY has to deal with all the problems us normal chicks have to put up with. NOW SHE’LL KNOW THE PAIN. *shakes fist at her*

    Fantastic post, hon โค

    • Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that ๐Ÿ˜› I didn’t mean to kill anyone!

      HAHA. You discovered my secret ๐Ÿ˜› I just steal all the fake character names from the authors, lol.

      And lol, I’d love to see a book with fairytale princesses encountering real problems. SOMEONE WRITE IT FOR ME ๐Ÿ˜›

  9. HAHAHA, I totally thought of some hunger-strike thing when I first heard of THG. xD
    I have never heard of The Weight of Water, but the synopsis you made is brilliant. *_* Love it to bits!
    OCKY. xD xD Can I kidnap you and take you home to be my personal entertainer, Emily? :))
    The one for The Rapunzel Dilemma… I’m seriously running out of breath laughing. Do you have plans of visiting me in the hospital, girl? x____x

    These posts are awesome. Can’t wait for the next one. ๐Ÿ™‚

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  14. I had so much fun reading them! I don’t know how you came up with all this, but I love it ^.^
    I would totally read The Book of Broken Hearts (sounds interesting), Where the Stars Still Shine (sounds amazing), The Rapunzel Dilemma (sounds pretty funny), and Paper Towns (also sounds amazing).
    I might just try this some time, just for the heck of it. If I can actually come up with some interesting ones, would you mind if I posted them somewhere? I’d give you credit of course. Your wonderfulness must be shared (:

  15. Hahahaa. Yes. This post. That is all. Such fun. I especially loved The Hunger Games and Paper Towns (I’d totally read a book with that blurb), but that’s probably because they’re the only two that I’ve read so far.

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