Loony Blurbs – the one where I make up book blurbs from titles

loony blurbs 3

 

THERE’S A BANNER AND EVERYTHING!

Because you know, I’m just so professional like that.

Also, I have a proposition for you, blogglings. And it might be a dumb idea, but let me know in the comments. So this is going to be a fortnightly feature, and I’d like you guys to join in!! So if I posted a list of titles for each fortnight, and you could join in with making blurbs for as many as you want out of those…WOULD YOU DO IT? I mean, it’s lots of fun so I’m going to do it regardless, but I’d love to know if it’s something you guys would like to participate in as well 😀

So let’s go. Third time round.

The Apple Tart of Hope by Sarah Moore Fitzgerald

apple tart of hopeThe first book in an extraordinary trilogy, The Apple Tart of Hope explores the first of the Tasty Trifecta.

If Pepper is going to defeat the legendary Pumpkin Colonel, she’s going to need all the help she can get. She’s going to need her friends, Almond and Basil. But most of all she’s going to need the Tasty Trifecta: the Apple Tart of Hope, the Roast Beef of Power and the Blueberry Muffin of Fortitude.

But the Pumpkin Colonel has his own weapons. He has the Strawberry Shortcake of Omnipotence.

Pepper must hurry if she wants to find the Apple Tart and save Nutritionalia. Time is running out.

 

100 Sideways Miles by Andrew Smith

100 sideways milesCrab, class clown of his grade, can’t resist a dare. When his friends challenge him to gallop sideways for 100 miles, he starts immediately – as a joke. But then he finds himself in a whole new world – the world of Sideways. His friends’ joke has unwittingly gained him entry.

What he also didn’t know is that the dare he accepted back on Earth? Well, that’s a binding oath in Sideways. So Crab has to complete the dare and travel 100 miles through Sideways.

Great.

 

 

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

the maze runnerJames is a runner. But despite pleas for him to join the school cross country team, he’s not interested. James only runs in mazes. They’re a bit hard to find where he lives, which is why it’s helpful that the fist maze leads to another – they’re all linked to the fairy underworld, where James has been visiting since he was a kid.

James is juggling two lives – the life of his errands within the Maze world, and the burden of having to return home in time for dinner, lest his parents suspect something was up.

Imagine his displeasure when his annoying older sister discovers his most prized secret – the world of the maze.

 

The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl by Melissa Keil

cinnamon girlThe Isle of Doughnuts is in strife – they’ve run out of cinnamon, and Cinnamon Girl is the only one who can save them.

She’s the Santa of cinnamon – bringing the bittersweet spice wherever she goes, to whoever needs it the most. When she teams up with Sugar Girl, they’re unstoppable.

Or maybe not quite. The Flour Fiend is refusing to share his powdery goodness with the Isle of Doughnuts, which means…no more doughnuts. And without doughnuts, the magic of the land will disappear.

These are the incredible adventures of Cinnamon Girl.

 

 

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

the raven boysColby and Mulligan are Raven Boys. There’s a reason a group of them is called an unkindness – the Raven Boys inflict as much pain and torture they can on the witches who have forever been above them.

But Colby and Mulligan aren’t the same. Every other Raven Boy kills their mother, because women are witches and deserve death. Colby and Mulligan were brought up in the human world, and they love their mum. She makes pancakes in the shape of love hearts. How can you murder someone like that?

If they’re away from Neverland long enough, though, they cease to become half-boy and half-raven. They become all raven. But Colby and Mulligan love the human world…is there a way to stay in it and age with everyone else?

 

Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour

everything leads to youIt’s a treasure hunt of the most intricate nature. A game of hide and seek. You’re the one hiding, and I’m the one seeking. Ready or not, here I come. Some might think it weird that a girl with perfectly lovely guardians wants to find her both mother. But I’m not just looking for you because I want to see if our faces match up, if we laugh the same way.

I need answers.

I need to know what happened to tear our family apart. I need to know what these memories are; that terrible screaming that still gives me nightmares.

You’re my last hope. Everything leads to you.

The Manifesto on How to Be Interesting by Holly Bourne

the manifesto on how t be interestingHarley is not interesting. He would, however, like to be interesting. This manifesto is his documentation on experiences that have been undertaken in the name of becoming more eclectic. Seizing the day.

These experiences include, but are not limited to: wok racing, Swedish bunny-jumping, extreme ironing and worm charming.

Among others.

But Harley’s life gets even more interesting when he finds a friend who is willing to do this crazy stuff with him. And she may even be willing to do some not-so-crazy stuff.

Like sharing knock-knock jokes for instance – now that’s Harley’s kind of interesting.

 

The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson

the sky is everywhereFor the Sky-Dwellers, the sensation of feet touching the ground might as well be a myth. But everyone says it’s better up here anyway.

Azura doesn’t believe them. She’s curious.

In this subversion of The Little Mermaid, Azura cuts a deal with the infamous Queen of the Overworld, who takes her voice in exchange for a trip to the human world.

What Azura discovers during her most blissful time on Earth is that even here, the sky is everywhere.

 

 

I hope you liked these blurbs!!

Thanks to Eugenia @ Chasm of Books and Jaz @ Fiction in Fiction in Fiction for the suggestions 🙂

The only book I’ve read out of these is The Sky is Everywhere, so for most of these I don’t even know the real story. Oh, except for Cinnamon Girl, because I SERIOUSLY NEED TO READ IT.

Anyway, yeah, let my know if you’d be willing to join in if I made this a link-up feature 🙂

 

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45 thoughts on “Loony Blurbs – the one where I make up book blurbs from titles

  1. Firstly, that is a really pretty banner! And secondly, I love all of these blurbs! Seriously, they are so creative *and* hilarious (the perfect mix). I love what you did with ‘The Manifesto on How to Be Interesting’ 😉

  2. I looooooove that banner! It would definitely be fun to do something like this! Not sure I’d be any good at it, but I’d give it a shot. 😉 The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl is totally my favourite this week — SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THE ISLE OF DOUGHNUTS IS. I must travel there at once.

      • Whoops! I said nothing. Ignore me. I hope you enjoy The Maze Runner. I didn’t, but I read not only the book itself but all the sequels too (and that will tell you all you need to know about whether the story is readable or not…) I reckon it’s my crotchety old age which made me quibble with the books, but you should have no bother in that regard, since you’re not – by any stretch – as old as me. 🙂

        I think your fake book blurbs are brilliant. Can’t wait to see what other people make of them.

  3. You mean you’re going to make it like a linkup?! Because that would be awesome. I’d totally join in.

    I LOVE the one for Cinnamon Girl! I think it’s my absolute favourite. Closely followed by The Manifesto of How To Be Interesting. YESSSSS. Wok racing and Swedish bunny-jumping. TOTALLY.

    • Yes, that’s the idea!! I’d love to see what you come up with (and everyone else!)

      I cannot WAIT to read the real Cinnamon Girl. I’m sure it’s much better than any crazy thing I can come up with 😛 haha, I have to incorporate wok racing and Swedish bunny-jumping into one of my books, definitely.

  4. This post is made up of win, Emily! You should write blurbs for real. I’d let you do my book blurb if I have a book. Haha. My favorite would be 100 Sideways Miles or The Sky is Everywhere. Maybe I’d give this a go? Even though I know mine won’t be as awesome as yours.

  5. These are great, and I love the name of your feature! I would love to read your version of The Maze Runner, because how can I pass on a book about running? Your version of Everything Leads to You also sounds really interesting. It’s one of those blurbs that just make you want to read the book NOW. I would love to participate if you opened this up to other bloggers. In fact, I have been secretly hoping that you would make it a “public” meme. I didn’t really want to ask because I thought it might be rude because it might seem like I’d be copying your idea. But anyways, I can’t wait to write a post like this!

    • Hahaha yes, running is pretty great (I’ve just started running and it’s a lot of fun, actually!). Oh, you totally could have done it yourself anyway! But it will be easier now there’s a banner and everything, and it will be interesting to see how everyone interprets the different titles 😀 seriously, I’m so excited to see what everyone comes up with!!

  6. Love it, love it, love it! You’re so creative and original Emily! 🙂 And I’d definitely read your version of Everything Leads to You – it definitely has such a captivating blurb and completely pulls you in. Thanks for sharing, and I can’t wait to see more of these! 😀

  7. I would totally LOVE to give this a shot, Emily!! 😀 Love these. <33

    Awesome blurb for The Maze Runner–I'd totally read that. Even if I'm not sporty, I love books with all kinds of sports and exercise. ;D THE ONE FOR EVERYTHING LEADS TO YOU ASDFGHJKL WRITE IT, EM. WRITE IT.

    And it's awesome how most of your blurbs are fantasy-ish, girl. Fantasy is my forte. 😉

    • THAT WOULD BE AWESOME 😀

      I haven’t read many books about sport, to tell you the truth. That should definitely be rectified. I KNOW, how weird is it that they’re all fantasy??? I like writing contemporary!! But I suppose they don’t make for very interesting blurbs 😛

  8. Absoutely fantastic once again, Emily! I love them all. Especially 100 Sideways Miles, The Maze Runner, The Incredible Adventures of Cinnamon Girl, The Raven Boys and oh, lets just say ALL OF THEM. I love the idea of you turning this into a fortnightly feature! I’d definitely participate on occasion. I would say every fortnight, but at this stage, I can’t commit to that.

  9. These are so funny and what an original idea to write blurbs based on the titles! And now I am wondering how much these differ from the actual ones, probably a lot. I really like the Maze Runner and 100 Sideways Miles as they sound so weird and fun, but I think they actually could make good stories!

  10. Pingback: Stacking the Shelves (HEIR OF FIRE!!), Loony Blurbs and Re-organising my Bookshelves | The Loony Teen Writer

  11. You know what? When I saw The Maze Runner, I actually think of someone who runs crazy, scary mazes and make people die in there. You know, like a maze manager or something XD.
    Loony blurbs should DEFINITELY be a thing, with linkups and all. It’s fabulous!! 🙂

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  14. Pingback: Loony Blurbs: how you can join in | The Loony Teen Writer

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