How to Finish NaNoWriMo in 9 easy steps

Finishing NaNoWriMo is easy.

By the end of this blog post, you’ll see why. If you follow these steps, you’ll finish NaNoWriMo extremely easily.

Don’t eat. Like at all.

You have no time for sustenance – you’re a writing MACHINES. Machines don’t need to be fed. They just have to keep chugging along.

And while you’re at it, don’t sleep either. That’s a terrible idea.

Wasting EIGHT WHOLE HOURS just for sleeping? What are you doing? That’s valuable writing time!

Shut yourself in your room and don’t ever come out.

If you move, you might start doing stupid things, like eating. Or sleeping. You MUST stay in the exact same spot all throughout November.

And speaking of which, don’t talk to anyone. ANYONE.

THEY’RE DISTRACTING YOU FROM WRITING. Cut them off. You don’t need family OR friends during this time. Not at all. Especially not if they’re being encouraging, because you don’t need that.

Don’t ever take your eyes off the computer screen. This includes going outside. See above.

The computer screen is God and you are one of its disciples. Your devotion must be unwavering. Who cares if you get square eyes? You’ll have 50,000 words.

Speaking of which, don’t worry about your health.

Have the worst headache in the world? That’s good! It means you’re writing a lot. Keep going. When your head is about to split in two, you know you’re nearly there.

Make sure every word is perfect.

Your first draft needs to practically scream this:

If you need to delete things, do that. That’s an EXCELLENT idea. In fact, why don’t you just go back and rewrite the entire thing. Because let’s face it, it all sucks.

Be jealous of other people.

You SHOULD be jealous. They’re already past 50,000 words? What are you doing there? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You should be ashamed of yourself, clearly. How dare you have jobs/children/school/whatever else is keeping you from writing. It’s despicable, it really is.

And finally…my only piece of actual advice…realise that you shouldn’t do any of these things.

Seriously, guys, make sure you take care of yourselves. Remember to eat, and sleep. At the end of the day, your health is more important than 50,000 words. Remember that!

And good luck with these last few days!!

 

 

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25 thoughts on “How to Finish NaNoWriMo in 9 easy steps

  1. I LOVE YOUR SARCASM OK. I AM LAUGHING AND IT’S MIDNIGHT AND I THINK MY HOUSEHOLD DEEMS ME CRAZY.

    Whenever I’m low on time, on a deadline, the first thing I sacrifice is sleep. It’s the easiest. I am getting no where near 8 hours and am trying to rectify that. Speaking of which, I should probably sleep now 😛

  2. Oh my gosh, I’m giggling madly because of you. This is hilariously great! And, I agree with what you said. Taking care of yourself is extremely important. If you get seriously ill you wouldn’t be able to write anyway, and that would suck a lot. Besides, your brain needs that to get your creativity flowing. 🙂 x

  3. Ha. I probably could have used something like this earlier. I so wanted to do NaNoWriMo this year but it didn’t turn out well. I started on schedule but a couple days in and I was so worn out. The 50,000 limit can seem so intimidating…
    It’s funny because I did do it last year and I had a lot more things on my mind but this year, it just seemed like I was too worn out to have the energy to continue through with the goal 😛

    I am so happy you accomplished it though, Emily! 😀 You were working hard the entire time and you got yo goal! 😀 *high fives*

  4. Pingback: The Sunday Post Meme (4) | Rabbit Ears Productions Blog

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