January Loony Blurbs

loony blurbs 4

Loony Blurbs is a monthly link-up, created by yours truly, where we make up blurbs based merely on a book title.

Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard

red queenEveryone thought Alice was a pure, innocent little girl with a white dress and a blue pinafore.

But that’s a lie.

The Red Queen is sick of being the bad guy. With the Cheshire Cat’s help, she’s going to bring Alice down.

Or the whole of Wonderland will suffer.

 

Eat the Sky, Drink the Ocean, edited by Kirsty Murray (assorted authors)

eat the sky, drink the oceanKirsty is a Skyborn.

Murray is an Oceanborn.

With the Earth in between them, they can never meet. That is, until they both make deals with Ursula, and meet in the middle.

Problem is? It’s a trap.

 

 

Solitaire by Alice Oseman

solitairePolly has no friends, and she finds herself playing endless games of solitaire to amuse herself. But it turns out that it’s not just a game.

It’s real.

In the vein of Jumanji, this is the story of a game you won’t forget.

 

 

 

Scrambled Eggs at Midnight by Brad Barkley

scrambled eggs at midnightBrad is an excellent cook. The only problem is that he can only cook at midnight. Any other time, there are too many people, too many distractions, too much to think about.

But then a competition arrives. Kids Kitchen.

So either Brad has to get over his inability to cook in front of other people…

Or he misses out on the opportunity of a lifetime.

 

Stormdancer by Jay Kristoff

stormdancerJay is a stormdancer. The other Shifters make fun of him – they can make the weather change just by waving their hands or some nonsense.

Jay has to dance.

But when the Empire faces the worst storms it has ever faced, it might be up to Jay to fix things.

 

 

Not a Drop to Drink by Mindy McGinnis

not a drop to drinkMindy falls out of a plane and right into the Sahara Desert.

Well. There were other steps along the way, but that’s the basics of it.

And now she has to figure out how to get out of the Desert with only a bottle of Mount Franklin and army rations.

This is going to be interesting

 

 

The Astrologer’s Daughter by Rebecca Lim

astrologer's daughterRebecca’s mum is an astrologer – a bunch of crap, really. Rebecca’s never put much stock into star signs and all of that.

That is, until the day she meets Capricorn.

That’s when everything changes.

 

 

 

You can join in anytime this month using the link-up below!

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29 thoughts on “January Loony Blurbs

  1. *rubs hands together* Ooh I love the ones you’ve picked this time around Emily – especially Eat the Sky, Drink the Ocean. I can’t wait to read the actual book for that one too! In the meantime…*gets to writing post*

  2. Oh. My. Goodness. THIS IS SO FUNNY. And at the same time it would still be worth reading — I love the one for Stormdancer. Very literal interpretation. Really awesome post!

  3. HA. Love these, as usual. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought Red Queen sounded suspiciously Alice-y. I’ve actually just got it off my bookshelf to read next. SQUEE I AM EXCITED.
    *ahem*
    Stormdancer was perfection. 😉

  4. Ahahahah the Scrambled Eggs one is golden! I always love reading these. Guess what? I remembered! I’m gonna start putting my post together and hopefully get it up in the next few days. *crosses fingers*

  5. omg bahahah I loved Stormdancer 😛 These are so much fun to read so thanks for creating this totally unique meme, Em! <33

  6. I love your Looney Blurbs! I am so glad you included Eat the Sky, Drink the Ocean. I forgot to add this one to Goodreads and so I forgot about it. You reminded me that I wanted it, so now it’s added to Goodreads. Thanks.
    I really love your version of Stormdancer. I want to read that book!

  7. Oh, man, I’ve forgotten how much I find your blurbs so bloody hilarious. I think I may have just snorted my hot cup of chocolate and made a scene… shhh! Don’t tell anybody! Haha.

    I read Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard and Not A Drop to Drink and so your blurbs of that one really made me laugh. You’re so funny, Emily! I wish I were half as funny as you!

    Faye at The Social Potato

  8. Pingback: This Week’s Adventures | The Magical Adventures of Cassie the Weird

  9. These are awesome 🙂 I love the Red Queen one the most, with Stormdancer and Solitaire as close runner-ups. I just put mine up today, and I REALLY struggled with Scrambled Eggs at Midnight and Solitaire.

  10. Pingback: January Loony Blurbs | Clockwork Desires

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