Loony Blurbs is a monthly link-up, created by yours truly, where we make up blurbs based merely on a book title.
Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
Everyone thought Alice was a pure, innocent little girl with a white dress and a blue pinafore.
But that’s a lie.
The Red Queen is sick of being the bad guy. With the Cheshire Cat’s help, she’s going to bring Alice down.
Or the whole of Wonderland will suffer.
Eat the Sky, Drink the Ocean, edited by Kirsty Murray (assorted authors)
Murray is an Oceanborn.
With the Earth in between them, they can never meet. That is, until they both make deals with Ursula, and meet in the middle.
Problem is? It’s a trap.
Solitaire by Alice Oseman
Polly has no friends, and she finds herself playing endless games of solitaire to amuse herself. But it turns out that it’s not just a game.
In the vein of Jumanji, this is the story of a game you won’t forget.
Scrambled Eggs at Midnight by Brad Barkley
Brad is an excellent cook. The only problem is that he can only cook at midnight. Any other time, there are too many people, too many distractions, too much to think about.
But then a competition arrives. Kids Kitchen.
So either Brad has to get over his inability to cook in front of other people…
Or he misses out on the opportunity of a lifetime.
Stormdancer by Jay Kristoff
Jay is a stormdancer. The other Shifters make fun of him – they can make the weather change just by waving their hands or some nonsense.
Jay has to dance.
But when the Empire faces the worst storms it has ever faced, it might be up to Jay to fix things.
Not a Drop to Drink by Mindy McGinnis
Mindy falls out of a plane and right into the Sahara Desert.
Well. There were other steps along the way, but that’s the basics of it.
And now she has to figure out how to get out of the Desert with only a bottle of Mount Franklin and army rations.
This is going to be interesting
The Astrologer’s Daughter by Rebecca Lim
Rebecca’s mum is an astrologer – a bunch of crap, really. Rebecca’s never put much stock into star signs and all of that.
That is, until the day she meets Capricorn.
That’s when everything changes.
The sad thing is, I could see the one about horoscopes being real.
HAHA. I want to read it for a laugh, definitely 🙂
*rubs hands together* Ooh I love the ones you’ve picked this time around Emily – especially Eat the Sky, Drink the Ocean. I can’t wait to read the actual book for that one too! In the meantime…*gets to writing post*
It looks like such a great book!! And I never fail to love your Loony Blurbs so I’m excited 😀
Ooh, these are some really interesting-and very loony-blurbs. I would most like to read Red Queen because I really can’t resist a fairytale retelling and Not a Drop to Drink.
Hell yes! Retellings all the way! Actually, for both of those you mentioned I really want to read the actual books…
Solitaire looks extremely interesting.. Definitely going to check these out!
Solitaire is a book that’s been on my TBR for aaaaages!
Haha, this made me laugh! I’m actually quite interested to read some of these, either from their covers, their titles, or their loony blurbs! 🙂
It’s always one of them, isn’t it? Titles can be so intriguing 🙂
Oh. My. Goodness. THIS IS SO FUNNY. And at the same time it would still be worth reading — I love the one for Stormdancer. Very literal interpretation. Really awesome post!
Glad you like it! Some of these are not so far-fetched, and then others…well. Lol 😛
HA. Love these, as usual. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought Red Queen sounded suspiciously Alice-y. I’ve actually just got it off my bookshelf to read next. SQUEE I AM EXCITED.
Stormdancer was perfection. 😉
Well, we’re both obsessed so that might explain it. HOPE YOU LIKE IT 😀
Ahahahah the Scrambled Eggs one is golden! I always love reading these. Guess what? I remembered! I’m gonna start putting my post together and hopefully get it up in the next few days. *crosses fingers*
I would totally read that book too. OOH YAY CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOUR POST 😀
omg bahahah I loved Stormdancer 😛 These are so much fun to read so thanks for creating this totally unique meme, Em! <33
Glad you liked it 🙂 I have fun anyway!
HAHAHAHHA it was just like you to do Alice In Wonderland with Red Queen. I LOVED IT. My favourite, really. MOSTLY BECAUSE I LOVE THE ACTUAL BOOK. BUT ALSO BECAUSE YOU’RE HILARIOUS. ❤
How could I resist?? And yep you’re making me want to read Red Queen so much! Lol of course I’m hilarious 😉
I love your Looney Blurbs! I am so glad you included Eat the Sky, Drink the Ocean. I forgot to add this one to Goodreads and so I forgot about it. You reminded me that I wanted it, so now it’s added to Goodreads. Thanks.
I really love your version of Stormdancer. I want to read that book!
Glad you do! Oh, and that’s lucky. It looks reallylylyly good. Actually so many 2015 releases do. I don’t know how I’m going to get through them all…
I know! I’m trying to buy less books this year and read the ones I actually own and it is going to be so hard with all the great books coming out!
Oh, man, I’ve forgotten how much I find your blurbs so bloody hilarious. I think I may have just snorted my hot cup of chocolate and made a scene… shhh! Don’t tell anybody! Haha.
I read Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard and Not A Drop to Drink and so your blurbs of that one really made me laugh. You’re so funny, Emily! I wish I were half as funny as you!
Faye at The Social Potato
Gah, I KNOW, Faye! This gal seems to be up to her head in snarky thoughts and sarcastic comments. But I still love you too 🙂
This is so hilariously cute! I can’t wait to join in on the fun, this seems to be a very enjoyable feature 🙂 thy loony teen writer, I am coming.
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These are awesome 🙂 I love the Red Queen one the most, with Stormdancer and Solitaire as close runner-ups. I just put mine up today, and I REALLY struggled with Scrambled Eggs at Midnight and Solitaire.
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